A Heart Of A Twenty Year Old

On Thursday I had to get my heart checked out via an EKG and an Echocardiogram.  My tech, for the Echo, Marie was a delight and had lovely soothing music playing in the background.  Her manner puts you at ease because all you want is a good report.  While she had me for the standard gig she told me she wanted to get some 3D images to boot.  Had I known I would have brought Bill with me to see the software in action.  Very cool.  This 12 second video shows you what it can do.  So far all green lights along the testing route to radiation.  They will continue to check me stem to stern until they get me using my new tattoos.  I have a lot of check-ins in the upcoming weeks.  Just wanted to let you know that all the prayers, prayerlists, good vibes, even better karma, and all your communications are helping me live strong. 

Taxol, Tattoos, and puppies, oh my...

This week marked another milestone. Surgery?  (check)  Red Devil Chemo? (check) Taxol Chemo w/mind bending, cry me a river puhleaze - steroids? (check) Radiation? (whoa - wait – what – Radiation???) And - what do you mean you need tattoos? For what?

Wwweeelll – ok – I could see a tattoo in her future…  Well – Tracy did not get what I was expecting.  I sort of was expecting something like (right), and what she came out with was (left).  Oh well – it’s still a set of tattoos even though they are blue, really small, and can't be seen when she reaches for the top-shelf.  The other change was going into the office today (Thursday) rather than taking a half day of vacation and then doing a half day WfH.  What this also means is that unlike the Chemo Pod, I really can't go into the room with the linear accelerator. 

Being on the outside looking in for the first time in six months is a definite shift.  Changes they are a comin’ ..

It's Thursday & I'm Not Having Chemo

WOW! This feels like a tremendous milestone! I got a wonderful wake up kiss and a hug from Bill to start the day with the words - it's Thursday and you dont have chemo. Great day! Today is another milestone. I have three appointments to check out my heart and other systems to make sure I am in great shape - as they tell me I am - and head toward my radiation schedule. I am making those plans and should have them all in shape by next week. Hope you all have an equally GREAT day!

Lucky Stars & Seeing Stars From Steroids

Hopefully no more steroids for some time to come. The aftermath of any- not just my last Taxol treatment can really kick my behind and this weekend was no exception. I can generally get through the Friday and we had a great visit with Janet, Bob, Maureen, Dave, Gary and Sheals. A fun night of banter and laughs. Both the kids checked in during coherent hours. Saturday and Sunday had me dissolved and Bill lovingly picks up the pieces and props me up and doles out the meds. Nobody can deliver more gentle kisses and hugs to keep me restrained body and soul from the steroid ledge of loss of control. Today my office was closed and it was helpful to have another day to pull myself together. I went to acupuncture to keep working on the numbness to my upper right torso. A soothing hour where I can almost fall asleep and let things go. Tomorrow I head into the Radiation Oncology side of treatment planning. I'll get my mapping/simulation tatoos completed and get the low down on what's expected from my body over the next 10 weeks or so. It starts with rest. Then they'll have to approve my EKG and ECHO this Thursday. Then more bloodwork on Monday and another blessing from Dr Hammond to be handed off to Dr Proulx. I look forward to meeting the next group of radiation warriors who will walk into battle with me.

That’s all for Taxol!

Everyone – repeat in unison “That’s all for Taxol!”

First – mea culpa – I’ve been chastised for not Tweeting about today’s treatment.  Oh – and if you don’t know what Twitter and Tweeting is – be thankful.  Be. Very. Thankful.

So - Good news this morning –

The Evil Enzyme Twins - Aspartate Transaminase and Alanine Transaminase remained at lower than the insane levels that they have been over the last two weeks.   The result – the normal, and now past tense series of meds and chemo were able to be administered today! Heparin, Saline, Pepcid, Saline, Dexamethasone, Saline, Taxol, and Heparin again to pickle the VAD until the next time. 

We meet with Dr. Hammond in a week and a half to finalize the Medical Oncology phase, and then a brief respite before Radiation kicks in. 

Tracy’s up from her post-Taxol nap, so I assume she’ll come up with some retort or another…

Luck Has Nothing To Do With Those Lucky Stars

Chemo or no chemo? That is the question. Will it be the last Taxol? I can't thank my lucky stars because it's all up to my delicate liver to answer. I have had my raisins, apples, and beans today with lots of water. Taking my little liver to bed and we'll see what Thursday brings us. As always I'm taking all of you with me to fortify the day. One of us will send a note from the flipside.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!

I managed to find a picture from before Tracy started her treatments.  I’m not so sure she realty understands what it means to get nose hairs back?  It was rather unpleasant before, and I can only imagine what kind of mutant hairs will be growing back in the near future…  But – that’s what she wants, so who am I to question hair? No one nose Tracy like I nose Tracy..  (yeah, this post going to cost me - a lot)

Hair Growing Back In My Nose S'not

Funny things happening on the way back to hair growth. Hair is still coming in slowly on my non-wig wearing head. Nothing on my eyebrows or eyelashes and apparently nothing in my nose. I've gone several weeks without nose bleeds, but last Thursday after no chemo I got into a sneezing fit and then it started. Got the bleeding under control and then the clear liquids just poured out of my nose. What the heck?! I was left to stay reclined otherwise any upright motion was just taunting the clear snot to hit my clothes, the floor, and yeah my keyboard before I could get a tissue. And I keep tissues close, real close. I don't have them stuck up my sleeve like a grandmother or anything, but pockets full, a box by my side, and placed all through the house and the cars. Hopefully that was the last of that kind of episode and or at least my reflexes will have improved at snot catching post chemo!

Smeagol Covered In Cashmere

Thanks to the clearance bucket at LL Bean I found the answer to my snaggley fingernails/nail beds. These areas are in a pretty fragile state across all fingers now. I was using gloves from the kids bin of lightweight gloves to keep my fingernails covered at night. Otherwise what is left of the nails hook into sheets, blankets, Bill etc. and give me quite a start if not covered. Now I have my el cheapo but 100% cashmere coverings that make both me and Bill purr. Just call me Kitty Cat...

Houston We Have Hair

Funny week really. One morning I looked in the mirror and I had the balding guy ring of fuzz around my head. Next morning the top had filled in with fuzz. I called Bill into the bathroom each time I was looking in the mirror to make sure I was really seeing hair growth. One can't always be sure due to chemo brain... It cracked me up today as I looked back in the mirror and was rubbing my head with a smirk, and with that motion - a smirk and a rub - I saw my tall Texan cousin Peter. As long as I can remember he has this habit of rubbing his head with a giant smile and hearty laugh, or during a mindful moment. It is another soul filling moment when you carry family and friends with you while you walk any journey in life. This is just another great step.

Points Program

There are all kinds, rewards points, weight watcher points, shopping and banking points - and then there are the liver level points. Two points over today so no treatment. Another very long morning, draws, processing of labs, meeting with providers and processing mentally. Bill and I came home and we will wait until next Thursday. They'll keep a good eye on me next week and I need to do the things I do at home to help my liver feel better. I'll keep another low profile for the week with my liver healthy foods and give it a whirl next week. I had my power red sweats on today but I must need another red article of clothing or two to add to the ensemble. Valentines Day is coming...

Is That An Orange Peel Under My Fingernail?

Yup! Jumped right out of my chair yesterday at lunch. I had my beautiful Cara Cara oranges, not too sharp of a knife ('cause you know Bill would bust me) to get me going along with most of the peel and bam! I thought I was gently pulling apart the sections when I realized I had caught my left pinkie in the soft skin of the orange and back it went. Ok it was the one that was coming off ahead of the pack anyway, but geez louise it took me a minute to get my heart rate down. Kari peeled the rest of the oranges for me and got me a bandaid. Then I cut that sucker back as far as I could without making my own skin crawl. A gentle emery board is added to my routine twice a day. I was doing the nails at night, but now at night there is more that recedes while I sleep so a buffing in the morning is a necessity. I am using gloves in all kinds of ways these days. Dr Hammond or Lisa Sweatt will be checking me on Thursday so I need to be buffed to a dull roar to pass muster. My mantra remains I don't need them to get me to great health. So I won't be looking for the new spring colors from Sally Hansen or purchasing any press on nails.

Steroid Sunday With Happy Feet

Actually both Saturday and Sunday begin and end with those crazy emotions. Yesterday I was stirring my Miralax into my orange juice and in start the tears. They were actually happy tears. Dr Hammond always asks how it's going and I tell him my weekends are emotional looking for clarification on my previous question of forced menopause or steroid. He gives me his warm smile and confirms it is the steroids. It allows me to step off into the rest of the story. While I drink my juice I was thinking of our day on Thursday when Dr Hammond came in to tell us I have been getting Avastin. Wonderful feeling. It adds another 30 weeks to my treatment but if this gives me a more of a chance to dance around into my 80's then I'm getting new dancing shoes.

The Real McCoy...

Thursday was a Triple Word Score kind of day. 

The first score was a good read from the lab on Tracy's liver enzyme levels.  After the prior week's enzyme level roller coaster, it was a relief to have test out a still somewhat elevated, but acceptable level.

Number two was hearing that we (ha) would not have to make up the week 8 “snow day” (due to elevated enzymes). Yay! So 12 weeks still means 12 weeks, so we finish chemo on time.

Number three was the kicker.   If you recall, Tracy’s been part of a clinical trial for Avastin (arrgh! – remember – piratespeak) otherwise officially known as the “Phase III Randomized Study of Adjuvant Therapy Comprising Doxorubicin Hydrochloride, Cyclophosphamide, and Paclitaxel With Versus Without Bevacizumab in Patients With Lymph Node-Positive or High-Risk, Lymph Node-Negative Breast Cancer” trial. http://www.cancer.gov/search/ViewClinicalTrials.aspx?cdrid=528955&version=HealthProfessional&protocolsearchid=8781700  

Since we were now (still) on track schedule-wise, Thursday was the last Avastin infusion.  As trial was double-blinded, neither our treatment team, nor us knew if Tracy was receiving Avastin or saline over the last three months.  We did know at some point that the trial would be unblended – but we didn’t know it would be Thursday!  The short version is – Dr. Hammond was informed, and then informed us that Tracy had been receiving the Real McCoy – Avastin.  Aside from the potentially positive effects of bevacizumab (tongue twisting generic name for Avastin), it validated the additional time spend in the infusion pod over the last 5 months, as well as the additional stress from the elevated enzymes.

More tomorrow.

Clearing Snow and Clearing Chi

Wow! Well the birds have been at the feeders at full tilt. Bill has been wearing out parts on the snowblower. I have been hunkered down at home, logged in and doing what I can. My arms and right leg are full of pins and needles and at night it sneaks over to add my left foot. I've added acupuncture to my routine to help with these sensations. My surgical arm has been staying colder when in use. Perhaps clearing my chi and helping things to flow better through my meridians will give me some relief. Learning all the new pieces to power healing through acupuncture and going after adding some feeling back in my right upper torso over these next few weeks. Ironic to use needles to rid the pins and needle chemo reaction. Working on my imbalanced energy flow by using this exciting new wonderfully positive and relaxing method.

I've Needed You

As the saying goes "friends need no words" but i still have some to tell you. You've taken me by the hand and lead me to better places in my mind. Maybe some have understood my journey maybe not, but you have taken the time to read me, watch me, see me, hear me. I've needed your warmth, I've needed you standing by me, I've needed you always taking me back to a better place. Thank you for all you do while I fight this fight.