Nice Melons

I'm eating very well and even had the stamina to prepare these beauties.  What I continue to share are my thoughts as I progress and these melons, nicely paired I might add, are a perfect segue to share I am strongly considering - a prophylactic mastectomy of my left breast.  I really struggled approaching the mammography day this July.  It was at the same time as being diagnosed last year and in all honesty I lost my faith in mammography.  With dense breasts, and now only one, it left me with forboding thoughts.  I have been able to put my head down and stay in the game for all of this, but this process really shook me up.  As we met with Dr McKee after to review the results "normal for the parameters of dense tissue" it immediately brought me to the question.  Since my reconstruction is coming up in 2012 is it possible to have both a prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction at the same time?  Poor sweet Bill - he damn near came out of his chair and said "wait a minute, wait a minute... are these the drugs making her talk like this?"  Yeah the Arimidex can have depressive side effects, but I felt clear as a blue sky kind of day.  We talked at length that day with Dr Mckee and then with Dr Hammond this past Thursday when I went in for chemo.  What I face if I don't is imaging every six months for the rest of my life.  Mammography , then six months later and MRI.  I want a better quality of life than that.  I want a better state of mind than that.  We'll meet with Dr Marble too and then make a final decision.  Dr Hammond seemed to put Bill's mind more at ease and Dr Marble can show a fun little picture show of possible boobs to pick from her wonderful catalog of healed patients.  I actually feel more relieved.  I feel like I get to leave something behind as I walk forward.  Each day I get stronger and I think making such a huge decision like this is just a testament to my strength.  Your support of me and Bill and make the days easier.  Thank you all.

Broke A Nail

Sheals was trying to help me get some chores done last night and we were moving boxes around.  Sure enough, I felt a sharp edge to one of my fingernails.  I've been tending my nails for a long time now and they have come back in relatively normally so far. It was a fine funny moment!  I still have one chemo toenail left and for now I am doing my own mani pedi's.  I am looking forward to some great spa moments when my system settles down.  Won't be long now - but my nails will be!  LOL!

One Year Ago Today

I have many thoughts on why it took me until 7/25/11 to again get on the blog.  They'll come out gushing at different times.  One of them is today is the day we met with Dr. Mckee last year to get all the results back after the MRI needed to be done.  It was a hell of a day.  We of course knew something was wrong but initial reports had me in a much different place clinically before the MRI results.  My dense right boob had been hiding a horrible outcome.  I approach chemo again tomorrow and there are only 4 left - ending September 29, 2011.  So much time in a hospital setting you say?  My perspective is so much time given back.

Matt and Donna

My cancer warrior spirit is calling out to Matt who has gone inpatient this week for another treatment and to Donna who has hospice in this week to help her and her family.  Wishing them peaceful times through all of this.

Well Howdy! We Got To Travel For My Heart

Holy mental hurdles!  I am REALLY trying hard to keep up the pace.  I remain at work, remain on an exercise regimen, remain dedicated to water and good food.  Good for me! 

I had Bill transfer some pics for me to start bringing things up to speed.  As I ended radiation on Wednesday 5/4/11 we ended up on a plane to Ireland on Friday the 6th.  Me, Bill, Jeremy and Taylor.  My three favorite guys.  This destination has been on our list for some time. 

I packed my bags with meds new and old and we hit the airport!  Travel was good.  How could it not be? We flew in and out of Belfast staying off the beaten path and going to smaller towns.  We stayed in B&B's and went to some wonderful places.

Walking back to our first B&B in Doolan after 10:00pm at night.  We jumped out to the Cliffs of Mohr and the Isle of Innishere.  

Went to Derry.  Peace.

Stayed in Eniskillen.  Backyard of our B&B.

Front yard.

Giant's Causeway.

I can see NH from my Irish hill.

We had a wonderful time.  We enjoyed every mile we covered, and we covered hundreds.  It was a trip to remember for sure.  I am grateful to have been able to go and thank my wonderful family for making it happen.  Four great souls got replenished and renewed on this trip.  Just starting to get caught up with all that's going on out there in this great big world!