All For Friday

Antibiotics running along through my system.  REALLY want to avoid what is called a "revision" to my left breast if possible.  I see Dr. Marble again next week.  I did see Dr. Hammond in Oncology yesterday.  He was back to the suggestion of neurontin for the neuropathy I am experiencing.  The neuropathy is definitely on the increase with the cold.  I am still choosing to hold off on the extra med.  It very frequently brings on depressive symptoms and then that can lead to another med to counteract the depression.  Not that I haven't had my moments, but I think I am still doing amazingly well and want to keep that train moving forward.  If Mother Nature could just give me a mild winter this year I'd truly appreciate any and all the fair days she can bring this way.

Antibiotics Abound

Wednesday brings an early trip to the plastic surgeon's office.  That left boob is just giving me a bit of trouble and another round of antibiotic should do the trick.  So here I go with loading the yogurt and minding my p's and q's.  My mom needs to do the same.  Her return to rehab from her inpatient stay last week had her on the oral dose of antibiotics, but she has now had a bad reaction and is covered in hives.  She's now being loaded up with steriods to help ease the pain and itching.  She's got a new antibiotic and now we both need to get some more rest over the next few days.

Merry Christmas!

A wonderful day for all of us who are able to have our loved ones close.  A prayer and loving thoughts for those who are not able to be here through distance or passing.  So many thank you's sent back to all of you for your love, hugs, kisses, emails, posts, gifts, cards, walking, donating, phone calls, singing, and always the laughter.  So many tremendous vibes on which to focus.  Truly a merry Christmas!

Sounds Of The Season

Ok it was an early morning.  Needed to get to the hospital to meet with Mom's doctor and meet Jenn and Dad there.  She had enough improvement to move back to rehab at St. Ann's today.  She got settled in late this afternoon.  Even though I have heard all the Christmas songs played in the stores since what ??? October...  I haven't really been in the swing of it all.  Got a little groove back this morning on the way to the hospital with John Mellencamp's "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus" - it's catchy and a good one to belt out in the car.  All energies exhausted by the challenge of today.  Getting the updates for my mother completed and then actually hitting a couple of stores for a Christmas present or two.  There's one more day for that to all get done.  For tonight, the kids are back in the area, so I'm shored up with hugs, and my feet are elevated.  Swelling should come down by morning and then shopping can be complete.  I'll find a few good Christmas tunes to belt out along the way!

Ho Ho Holy Macaroni Thursday

Christmas on Sunday seems a little off the mark again this year.  Got to the gym this morning with Bill.  On a very modified cardio program for now.  The neuropathy kicks in after a bit on the bike, and I need to maintain a cautioned return to the gym or my body will shut me down.  But as you know I am a good patient so I am trying hard to just maintain what I did in the Well Fit program during chemo.  It was a manageable pace and I truly believe it helped keep me ahead of the curve for good health, so if it was good for me then, it's good for me now.  No ice today, instead wonderfully mild temperatures.  My nerve endings still quaking and the cold really bothers my torso.  Bill smiled and shook his head as I left the house today in sweatpants, sweatshirt with a hood, and a down jacket.  Laugh if you want but it does the trick.  It's better than having me bend over trying to will all the body warmth to direct itself to my torso while my body trembles!  I'll get cleaned up and head to the hospital to visit my mother.  She remained there again last night on the high dose antibiotics to hopefully avoid surgery.  My personal morning report is a decent one so I am hopeful hers will be as well. 

Icy Wednesday

Mother Nature is telling me to stay put for a bit.  Yesterday was a long day.  Had my own appointments that got diverted because my mom got readmitted to the hospital for an infection in her left leg.  The highway north is officially closed right now due to the ice.  Poor Bill was right in the middle of the stuff as he left early this morning and the roads were sheer ice.  He is now safely at work.  Told him to be careful walking into the building!  No more hospitalizations for any of us please.  For me a little bleeding and swelling so I have to take it easier today.  I have my feet up and I'm waiting for the roads to be treated more.  Then I'll go pick up dad and head to the hospital.  Slow and easy is the name of the game today.

Normal is as Normal does...

So – one of the ironies of caregiving is that at some point when the caregivee is up to the task of feeding, washing, dressing, brushing, wrapping, binding, driving, etc, themselves, the caregiver must return to their pre-caregiver routine.  This generally means their day job – which by necessity – is generally far away from the caregivee.  Daily routines are reset, daily patterns are different, and there is at the same time a sense of familiarity of the past now present and one of loss of the present now being the past. 

For us, life continues to return to whatever normal was a year and a half ago, but at the same time, normal must now be different from what it was for both of us prior to the Summer of 2010.  Tracy has lost parts, and also gained some new parts.  We have met a tremendous number of folks including supporters, survivors, and medical providers, both in person and online, who have helped those with this disease, treated this disease, and have gone through / are going through this disease. 

The reality is that Tracy’s cancer was only Stage 2B and not of the more serious Stage 3 or 4 category.

The reality is that we are very, very fortunate to have the support system around us that we do, and that we have a world-class treatment center just down the road from our home.

The reality is that we are both able to laugh about the funny stuff, cry about the sad stuff, and to also share it all with everyone around us all the while moving forward.

This reality is our “new normal”.