Got Another New Doctor

Dr. Kelley and her nurse Joanne at Wound Care - I added another two great people to my list of a wonderful medical team.  I started at Wound Care on Friday morning.  A very thorough initial visit.  I left with a new ointment to touch up my right side.  The open area already looks dramatically better.  Dr. Kelley had the results to the culture that Dr. Marble took on Tuesday.  Came back positive... but the antibiotic Dr. Marble started me on is the key to the type of infection that I have.  My system is still off, and I can barely keep my eyes open at this time of night.  Slowly I heal, but heal I do.  I am still making sure I can maintain my balance between my health, work, home, and my mom's current status.  Her cancer is progressing rapidly into her brain and bones this past week.  Taking one day at a time for all of us.

The aforementioned Sunrise :-)

Does Working Out Make You Cry?

I got released from medical suspension to return to the gym.  Do you groan over that thought?  Ok so many of you really know me - I am a major weeper.  I was happy teary on the way to the gym Saturday.  Returning to the gym with Bill was wonderful.  It was a place of tremendous support for me during chemo - attending the Well Fit program.  We joined they gym after the program ended for me.  I feel better when I can go.  There are so many variations on what I can do, even when struggling with meds or fingernail-less hands, or no hair chills.  With this wonderful warm weather it is a double deal for my body.  Getting to the gym to get back some tone and stamina, and wonderful warmth makes for a good start to the day.  Thursdays and Saturdays are my days right now.  I hope to add more as I get the right side of my body healed.  Bill and I got to the gym at 4:55a.m. just waited a minute or two for the doors to be unlocked with a crowd of others.  We got our routines done, went to the beach bagel shop for coffee, and headed to the beach for sunrise.  Great day.  Hope you all get your cogs turning today.  Enjoy the day!

Is There A Sale On Antibiotics - Nope!

Saw Dr Marble and Sue yesterday.  Got myself another antibiotic for another 14 day course.  I haven't had any fevers lately, so that is very good.  I record my temp a couple of times a day.  Still trying to get the small area on the right side to finish closing up.  I am going to go to Wound Care and meet some new people.  Dr Marble took a small sample of tissue for culture.  My fingernails are still receding, and my hair is thinning slightly again.  Not at all like the chemo shedding, just my body putting energy toward healing my right side.  Both will spring back in late spring early summer no doubt.  I am still sleeping pretty well without chemical aide. I need all the sleep I can get while life remains a little challenging.  My mother remains stable as we work with hospice.  She has a Fentanyl patch that has really helps keep her pain managed much better than just traditional pain pills.  I am doing my best to stay well.  Thank you all again for your cards, emails, hugs, kisses, prayers and great vibes.  As the saying goes there's just no planning for life.  Onward I roll.

Oh The Warmth

My body still rejects the cold.  It turns me into a hunked over slow person.  I crave the warmth.  I still use a portable heater in the bathroom and that's with the house heat still set to 70.  But you know what?  You do what works.  Part of the flex theme...  My body still has the purge going on - from chemo -  my setback with infections, and a long time on the high dose antibiotics.  My fingernails are receding again.  My hair remains baby fine.  I'm tired, but sleeping well.  Haven't used chemical aid on that front in weeks.  Believe me, with all the drugs that have been in my life, there have been many days I felt I'd always need them.  I was assured I wouldn't need them always and to be patient.  It's so hard to be patient while battling, healing, fighting, healing, accepting, healing, finding patience, and healing. 

Jeepers Creepers Where'd We Get Those Peepers?

Not the optical ones but the wonderful ones down singing in our ponds.  First night of peepers and it is my favorite part of spring being on the horizon.
I went to Matt's service last night and that was so very hard.  I must take it all in that there is renewal and I am part of that.  I am still fighting to keep myself healthy.  Bill and I have our eyses on my right side still.  I am eating well with all my liver loving foods.  It pays to be good to your filter!
I am trying to protect my mental self while facing my mother's illness.  Her pain increases daily, and I am learning with the help of the hospice nurse how to tweak her pain medications to find the needed formula for each day.  It will flex many many times.
That is what I will do - flex.  One day at a time.

Snowy Saturday

Getting up early today.  Thinking of Matt who passed yesterday. May he rest in peace.  Just 43 years old.  It is another reminder to live a good, happy life.  Today we'll pick up my mum and dad for dads 82nd birthday, head to Newicks and get some lobster.  Mum wanted a date night tonight so told dad where to get the tickets for Dancing with the Dover Stars!  It'll be held tonight at Dover High School and they'll have a great time.  Behind the scenes hospice is checking in and giving updates about what to do next.  I'll touch base with my siblings today.  For me it was a busy work week, but I have a slight hot spot on my right incision.  Seemly came out of nowhere.  Just keeping an eye on it until next week when I check in with Dr. Marble again.  Both Bill and I are tired.  He's still sleeping, just letting his catch up a bit.  He helps keep me going in the right direction on the days it can be challenging.  The day is already getting nice and bright as I write this note.  Time to get off the computer and get on with a good day.  Enjoy the snow scene before it's stepped on or plowed over!  It sure is beautiful out there.

Another Powerful Tuesday

I have put peaceful vibes out each day for those who still struggle.  I just heard today that another's beloved mother lost her battle with lung cancer last Tuesday.  I am looking forward to the full moon this Thursday to change the vibe.  I need the power to go WITH the battle. 

I got a good check-up this morning with Dr. Marble.  Sue took my fishing line out (stitches) and things look good.  That's a start.  I was calculating that I have had over 64 days on antibiotics since November.  34 of them on high dose, kick ass, drugs.  Using the powerful meds to go with my mind, and go my way.

Under the sun, the moon, and the stars is generally a beautiful place to be.  Keeping my eyes to the sky this week to keep my pull directed at the force of life that supports the positive.

Power In The Universe

I knew there was a reason Tuesday seemed so powerful, Matt cannot receive anymore treatment, Joanne lost her 5th battle with cancer, and my mom was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer.  It has been an emotionally draining week. 

Bill was in San Fransico for a conference and wasn't due back until Saturday afternoon.  He came back early on Friday to surprise me and as always provide emotional support.  Just a hug from him makes me feel better. 

My brother, sister and I met with my mom and dad yesterday to go over all the results of her past two weeks of testing.  Even though mom has been a life long smoker it was hard to hear the words.  In addition to her cancer, she was also found to have a "catastrophic aneurysm" in her aorta.  Her cancer is so advanced there will not be any further medical intervention. 

The family hopes to keep mom at home as long as possible.  She has numerous allergies to pain meds so we will be looking to the medical team and hospice to come up with the best cocktail for her to keep her pain free. 

Back from the Left Coast...

Home. Finally. Redeye fluplane from SFO to BOS via MSP with a non-exit row middle seat which wouldn't stay up, a screaming IIA (infant in arms) in front of me and two seat-mates who obviously have waaay maller bubbles than me who at one point were both leaning / snoring inwards resting on my bubble.

RSAC (http://rsaconference.com/index.htm) was a great week, but it is always better to be home. Met a lot of new friends, connected finally, in person with a number whom I have known, but never seen, and reconnected with many old friends.