Rubber Ducky Is Sidelined

Remember when I wrote about my first shower after my surgery?  Thought it would be glorious and my body thought otherwise?  Well I've hit that point with my radiated skin.  Initially I was really creative.  I could lean forward away from the shower and get myself all spic'n span with nary an issue.  Now the contortions to keep the water from falling on either my upper back or my front are just too funny, too much, too tricky - all of those really.  So I'm the sponge bath queen until further notice. 

I'm pushing myself along as the fatigue wants to take over.  My body was rejecting my workday today and I ended up coming north again midday.  Radiation took me early, and I made it through my Well Fit program and then home.  It's funny when I'm weary I want that nice warm shower before taking a snooze or heading off to bed.  I ended up in a fitful dozing until just before Bill came home. I have crazy emotions while heading toward the radiation finish line.  Poor Bill when he comes in I am in tears, but they are happy tears.  I'm overwhelmed still that this is my story and I'm overwhelmed that I'm ending another phase of treatment.  I know how well I'm doing and that is what keeps me going. 

Gotta Love Those Boob Maps

Saw my boob map and got my plan back.  One week from tomorrow -Wednesday May 4, 2011 is my last day of radiation!  So that is 28 sessions of proton radiation and 5 sessions of electron radiation I'll have under my skin.  I should be good and lit up by then.  I'm told everything looks great after last weeks CT.  I am in wonderful shape considering what can be experienced.  I remain totally dedicated to the calendula gel, water, water, water, and now some jojoba oil before I go to bed.  I think I mentioned that it's most like the oil our bodies make naturally so it goes on easily, and cleans up easily.  Easy clean-up is the name of the game.  Metaphor for today...  Ok maybe this hasn't been so easy, but again I am so fortunate and so thankful for my amazing medical team, friends, and family.  Moving right along with an altered but clear map to great health!

Great Road Map

Today was the day of appts.  Got my ear checked the ulcer in my throat checked.  All healed nicely now. Just some residual mild irritation that will subside.  Got a new ENT doc on the ticket to great health.  Dr. Anderson great guy.  Then off to radiation for another CT scan creating a updated map.  They place markers on the right breast incision area and all the tatoo markers and literally take a slightly adhesive sheet to trace all the marks.  The sheet reminded me of the overhead projector sheets.... It's like a new fandangled sheet that projects the map for the electron radiation at the end.  I'll know how many more I get after Dr. Proulx reviews all the info.  Meanwhile today was 24 of the initial 28.  I was toast after treatment today and off my game getting my protein in on schedule.  My body lets me know very quickly that it needs my head in the game to feed it right and hydrate on schedule otherwise I have to take the quick exit to set a spell.  Bill fed me and got me to the recliner for a snooze.  Tomorrow completes 5 weeks.  Patting myself on the back with some calendula gel for getting to this point.  Of course getting through 5 weeks has happened with all the great folks in radiation, all of you, and my guy Bill. 

Get Off My Back

Woke early at 4 this morning with Bill.  Evidently I've given him a little chemo brain as the next thing you know I hear him come back, grabbed an extra kiss, oh and grabbed his boarding pass.  He arrived safely in Arizona and I arrived safely at work! I tackled my 21st session of radiation today.  Holy pink skin.  My armpit is swollen so it's a short note.  I'm experienced today with the straight lines in radiation - meaning it has to come out the opposite side of entry.  One point is my back right shoulder blade area...  Felt the heat this weekend but couldn't tell the actual point so Bill gelled me up.  Today is no doubt and all I can say is I'm glad I can reach the spot while Bill's gone.  Otherwise I'd have to take Denise & Harry up on the offer!  LOL! xoxo

Heading Into Monday Monday

Every other day of the week is fine, yeah...  It was a weekend to try and catch up on energy savings.  I am feeling a little run down as sleep escaped me for two nights.  Also the stupid hot flashes are sometimes just ridiculous!  It is shocking how quickly the body can heat up and cool down.  Annoying and draining.  I am just trying to get ready for a busy week, both at work and treatment.  Bill has to travel this week for the first time in a long time.  Going to be weird without him.  I'll try to rest more and be in good shape for my check-in this week.  I'll try not to spill anything, or forget anything while he's gone.  Man that may be the hardest part 'cause I swear with chemo brain I cannot get out of my own way.

The Day After - Not The Movie

So I've done it twice now during the radiation segment - had my trial chemo drug. The best news is that doing two types of treatment in a day is behind me.  It wasn't anything like the chemo rounds before so I am grateful.  I still feel like these sessions charge me for the future, a future, my future.  I have a planning session next week with Dr. Proulx.  I'll get checked out to see how much more I get before the conclusion of radiation as a whole.  So far so good with 20 sessions concluded as of today.  Let the marigolds bloom and the calendula gel flow.

Pack Me Up & Hit Oncology



Got myself going after sleeping soundly until 7:30. Never even stirred. Really needed the sleep. I was getting my bag packed this morning for chemo and I had another good realization that I didn't have everything in it like I normally do. I have used the bag for something fun! I used it for the weekend when we went away with the boys. And since most of you know me quite well you know that brought on happy tears - crying and packing. Just knowing I had another use for the bag - used for so long only for chemo - made me pretty excited. It's a powerful bag... It has been on this wild ride with me since last October and it serves a multitude of wonderful purposes. We are waiting our turn this morning to begin the day. The waiting room is sadly full and I've picked out a few things from the power bag to keep me occupied until they are ready for me. Just wanted to share positive thoughts and great vibes from the oncology waiting room. What you all do for me really does help me stay ahead of this.

No Blossoms On The Boob

So far the calendula gel is working quite well. (The nurses in radiation keep asking me what flower is that from?)  No eruptions of any kind on my skin and hopefully it will stay that way until the conclusion of radiation.  It looks mostly like I have been sunning myself - the kind of very pink pre-tan look. (Everyone keeps telling my how good I look and how much more color I have now. Seriously what's with that?)   In many ways I am fortunate that I am not super fair skinned.  Count the positives right? Anyhoo I head back into the double treatment day tomorrow chemo and radiation.  Another positive, it is the last time I'll have to do them together as I will hopefully be done with radiation before the next chemo rolls onto the calendar.  Another positive - I'm just realizing this tonight - if you've been reading my blog from the beginning you might recognize I have a glimpse of my inner voice back....  That just makes me smile. 

Radical Radiation Team

This team has taken me through 17 sessions as of today.  Ruth, Sharon, Shelly, Jay, Valerie, Juliana, Bill and the nurses Alex, Laurie, and steadfast Tracey.  Tracey was the first nurse from the cancer center who coordinated my original team planning meeting after my mastectomy.  Last but not least is Dr. Proulx.  Another wonderful group of human beings who welcome patients everyday.  They sooth, cajole, explain to you and your friends and family what really happens back there.  They all greet you with a smile no matter what kind of day they have faced.  Yet another point to count my blessings for all that is going well with my treatment.  I've met some more amazing people in radiation facing such difficult circumstances on this side of the hallway.  Each day I carry these folks with me on my journey.  Just as all of you fortify me, their stories do as well.  They are rebar for my concrete on my continued path to great health.

Head Shoulders Knees and Toes...

Pins and needles through and through that just seem to taunt me at the prospect of being upright. Some quaking remains but generally at night when I am dog tired or if I have really over done it a little residual momentum getting out of bed.  Meanwhile things are revitalized in certain parts:  My hair is coming in at a slow pace on my head, and nose hairs seem to have come back  a bit in my nose.  My nose has been a very weird feeling.  Kind of a funky pressure like a nose bleed is coming on but it doesn't!  Yippee!  My fingernails continue to reverse direction and are starting to have their intended appearance.  Once I get the thumbs up from my doctor I'll be wanting a lovely relaxing mani/pedi.  I'm 14 days into radiation and it does seem like it's going quickly.  My skin is holding up and I continue to hydrate to the enth degree.  The calendula gel feels the most soothing so I'm sticking with that for now.

Yo, Tracy!

 

Well – we were afraid this might happen.  One of the really rare, not talked about, extremely scary side effects of radiation therapy is that you start thinking you’re Talia Shire.  They told us it has only happened maybe once before and that it had nothing NOTHING to do with the power failure last week.  The prognosis for full recovery is really good, however.  So – as soon as the next 20 visits or so are done, Tracy should be back to normal.

Sex, Lies, and Video Tape...

Well - in the bunker, ther is no sex, no lies, and definitely no video tape - it's all digital to disk..  Some grainy shots of grainy shots from the control room of the Linac.  The pics on the monitors are grainy because - well - depending the orientation of the Linac, they get into the line of fire of high energy xrays and particle beams. It’s great for treatment, but not so good for the CCDs in the cameras.  Apparently they have to replace the cameras every few months or so…

Lotions and Potions

It's true, you can find many items to buy when you search on hydrating lotions during radiation, or radiation burns...  I've been using the Eucerin Plus and vitamin E.  Today I'm going to get some calendula lotion and some 100% aloe.  The Eucerin has been good so far very thick, but as this progresses I don't want to have to do the deeper rub to get the lotion into the skin if it's irritated.  The vitamin E is good but very runny and doesn't absorb as quickly.  Fine on a day you are hanging out and don't care about the goop on any of the cancer clothes, but need something that is healing and absorbing for the days I can go to work.  Since calendula comes from marigolds I'm all set as soon as black fly season starts around Mother's Day.  Everybody knows how well marigolds work as a repellant!

Radiation Storm Surge

Exciting day yesterday.  April Fools Day storm and so many power outtages.  I stayed on the seacoast and worked from home as the ice under the snow here was enough for me nevermind start out in the car.  Sheals had the day off from school so she wanted to join me at radiation.  Bill stayed home and worked and off we went.  They were running a bit behind and we chatted with other patients and their loved ones.  My turn came up and back we went.  Sheals got the whole tour and up on the table I go and get raised up to the machine.  Next thing we know the lights go out, the machine goes off, and the generator lights go on. Seconds later the lights come on but not the machine.  Evidently it takes approximately 12 minutes for the system to reset.  I was still high up toward the face of the accelerator so they needed to get the base power running to get me down.  It took just a minute or so as switches are tested and then it kicked in.  Once the system resets the staffs get me back there and work the routine of moving my body until it's "PERFECT!"  The parameters are spot on and I get my three hits at about 15 seconds each and I'm done.  Before you know it I've got two weeks under my belt/skin.